A Shelby Story

With the crazy schedule I have had working full-time for Apple and keeping up with two internships and my sanity-it’s been a real challenge to say the least!

The good news is this week I landed not one, but TWO huge internships both in which will take me to two different parts of the world and I am so excited to see where this will take me!

Although, I would love to go into detail about them I think this time I will blog about my events as they come along-as I’m sure they will.

I will say this though, I will be spending a lot more time in Las Vegas and Los Angeles, California!

Sometimes I can say that I take on more than I can handle and I know that’s how I have always been, but it gives me really great experiences in which I learn the most beautiful lessons from.

Just last night, it was as though fate had come and knocked on my door and sent me through a whole whirl-wind of emotions.

I had been shopping at my favorite store Nordstrom and I was in the shoe section (naturally) when out of the corner of my eye, I see this little Yorkie sitting all by itself on one of the chairs.

I immediately dropped what I was looking at and ran over to pet this dog, as it reminded me so much of mine. The little puppy, Allen, was so well behaved and he gave me kisses and pawed at my arm as if to say hello just as if my little Gabbi would do when she would meet someone new.

I had explained to the owners how I had just lost my little Yorkie and they were so kind-hearted for letting me play with their dog for as long as I wanted.

This to me, was truly a gift.

Every night before I fall asleep I send a prayer up to my Gabbi and I ask God why it wouldn’t be possible to have one more night with her or five more minutes so I can say goodbye.

And last night, that’s what I got, I got five more minutes.

Allen was the sweetest puppy and let me play with him as he snuggled me and I felt so much comfort with this dog and I told Allen to tell Gabbi hi for me-because that’s how distraught I am right now about losing her.

Allen was Gabbi in male form. Allen gave me so much comfort in that small amount of time that I have been able to keep with me even to this very moment.

Thank you to the kind people who understood what it’s like to lose the most important thing to you, that was on of my favorite moments.

As my favorite book/movie quotes, “Pain demands to be felt.”

And I am finding comfort in that.

Writer's Block

Ever have writer’s block when you have/want to write something but just can’t form the words? Yeah, that would be my life right now. So instead of a heart-felt blog with a moral, I’ll just write about my thoughts and weekly events.

So, let’s begin!

On Tuesday my brother shouted throughout the entire house and said I quote, “Shelby, your stupid a** flowers are here.” Naturally, I ignored him but when I walked into the kitchen later, to my surprise the little brat was telling the truth and there was this giant box with my name on it.

I ran into my room like a little kid and closed the door as if the box was a huge secret and I ripped open the box. To my surprise the box had the most beautiful tulips I had ever been given with a note that read, “Have a wonderful day!”

The flowers meant a lot to me, and I’m thankful to the person who sent them. Because he means a lot to me as well.

Do you ever wish that girls could send a guy flowers without it being weird?

What you would even put on the card?

“Thanks for sending me flowers, here are some Lilacs!”

If I could and it wouldn’t be creepy, I would have.

Of course, I followed what the note said and I continued to have a wonderful day and received some of the most amazing news ever! I can’t wait to share my news once everything is finalized (if it becomes finalized!)

I’ve learned throughout my years that not everything works out. So even though you want to share extremely good news once you get it, sometimes things fall through and it just becomes a sad party for one when the great news falls through.

But also, some of the great things you have to keep to yourself. With social media we don’t really keep a lot of the beautiful things in life to ourselves anymore and those moments are really important.

Some people post that they are in the hospital and they post selfies of them hooked to an IV, I’m sorry but that’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

Hardcore judging when you do that.

You’re in the hospital, stop taking pictures and get better!

THEN take your selfies, because selfies are important.

I also worked a forty-five hour week and worked out every night this week

(Which never happens by the way.)

My car also broke down on the side of the road, and I’m currently in the process of begging my parents for a new car so I guess we will see how that goes.

The entire way home in the tow truck I defended myself against two Bradshaw Mountain High School graduates about how Apache Junction High School is not a trashy high school and how I am proud to graduate from such an established school.

I also then proceeded to make fun of the driver because he had a tattoo of his wife’s name on his arm and I thought that was funny.

(No judging if you’re one of those people!)

I also started this new fun thing called vloging (video blogging,) which I will do when more writers block hits me. You can find the fun video about my week under the “videos” section of my blog.

Oh, and I found this really fun quote that I would like to end with.

“Seek to be worth knowing rather than being well known.”

I think a lot of us get caught up in that of being “well known,” but being well known doesn’t mean anything if you’re not worth knowing.

The Harder Things In Life.

Do you remember when you were younger (or maybe even the other day) when you caught yourself envying that girl that you went to high school with that has a beautiful body? For me, it’s been everyday this past month, simply because she seems to be everywhere. Lately, I have let myself become so consumed in this girl’s life, that I have started coming down on myself because I don’t have the perfect body that she does. I know a lot of others look at a girl and think to themselves, “Her life seems perfect,” or “Why can’t I be beautiful like her.” We all do it, you just have to train yourself who affects you, and who doesn’t. That in itself can be a really hard task to grasp because no matter what you are you.

Do you remember when you lost something so important to you that you had no urge to get out of bed and all you did was stay inside all day and think about how life is so unfair, and that you would do anything to get that something back. That something would be my dog Gabbi. Today marks one month since I lost her to cancer. I know that I have done more than my share of grieving and talking about her. But it has been my first real loss since my grandpa back in eighth grade. It doesn’t really hit me during the day, just mainly at nighttime when I go looking for her wondering why she isn’t following me to bed. Losing something so close to you doesn’t only take a toll on your mind, but on your heart as well. The other night, I had woken up in the middle of the night and realized Gabbi wasn’t in bed with me. I had woken up frantic and I was calling her name at three in the morning. I’m not sure if that was the cause of sleep walking or grief, but I definitely stayed up that entire night wondering if I will ever get better.

The harder things in life come to us at the most random times. Dealing with jealousy is one of the most uncontrollable things that we have to deal with.  You can’t control it, it kind of just happens. I know I have been that crazy jealous girlfriend once or twice, and I’m sure you have too. Because you’re not in love if you don’t feel crazy-right? But loosing my dog is something that I will never find fair, and I ask God every single night why he had to take my puppy away from me when I loved her so much. Each night I tuck myself into bed, and I send a prayer for my health and my family and now; I tell God to tell my puppy that I love her and that I can’t wait until the day I can see her again. But you know what? The harder things in life are the things that define you and make you who you are. It’s how you deal with the struggles and the burdens that you carry with you each and every day. Each and every single one of us are fighting a hard battle. But it’s all how you look at it that makes it worth something. Fighting all of the hard things and random curve balls that life can throw your way, is what makes life worth living. They also make great stories and life lessons for later.

The girl that I have been jealous of for the past month, she really is astonishingly beautiful on the outside, but on the inside, I’ve come to the conclusion that she has no generosity or character in her body whatsoever. It’s a great thing to be beautiful on the outside and have every guy swooning over you, it must be nice. But in my opinion, I would rather have the character and generosity that she is lacking. Now, that’s something to be proud of because not every woman is like that in this generation. The next time you get jealous of someone and wish that you could have it as easy as them. Try and think about the hardships they are dealing with, just like you. No one has that perfect life (well, maybe Beyonce.) I've learned over the years to let others be inspired by your imperfections.
               The harder things in life come at a time when typically everything in life is going perfect. It just takes one look at a girl on Instagram or one phone call at 8:30AM to make your like confusing all over again. Can I just say how nice it is being twenty years old and living life and being able to love with all my heart, to have the opportunity to be jealous, work for a living, and get a college education? Life can deal us some not-so-great cards in life, but it just makes the harder ones easier to get through because you know the better cards are coming along. So remember, the harder things, they are just temporary. Because when the going gets tough, the tough just keep going.