The Harder Things In Life.

Do you remember when you were younger (or maybe even the other day) when you caught yourself envying that girl that you went to high school with that has a beautiful body? For me, it’s been everyday this past month, simply because she seems to be everywhere. Lately, I have let myself become so consumed in this girl’s life, that I have started coming down on myself because I don’t have the perfect body that she does. I know a lot of others look at a girl and think to themselves, “Her life seems perfect,” or “Why can’t I be beautiful like her.” We all do it, you just have to train yourself who affects you, and who doesn’t. That in itself can be a really hard task to grasp because no matter what you are you.

Do you remember when you lost something so important to you that you had no urge to get out of bed and all you did was stay inside all day and think about how life is so unfair, and that you would do anything to get that something back. That something would be my dog Gabbi. Today marks one month since I lost her to cancer. I know that I have done more than my share of grieving and talking about her. But it has been my first real loss since my grandpa back in eighth grade. It doesn’t really hit me during the day, just mainly at nighttime when I go looking for her wondering why she isn’t following me to bed. Losing something so close to you doesn’t only take a toll on your mind, but on your heart as well. The other night, I had woken up in the middle of the night and realized Gabbi wasn’t in bed with me. I had woken up frantic and I was calling her name at three in the morning. I’m not sure if that was the cause of sleep walking or grief, but I definitely stayed up that entire night wondering if I will ever get better.

The harder things in life come to us at the most random times. Dealing with jealousy is one of the most uncontrollable things that we have to deal with.  You can’t control it, it kind of just happens. I know I have been that crazy jealous girlfriend once or twice, and I’m sure you have too. Because you’re not in love if you don’t feel crazy-right? But loosing my dog is something that I will never find fair, and I ask God every single night why he had to take my puppy away from me when I loved her so much. Each night I tuck myself into bed, and I send a prayer for my health and my family and now; I tell God to tell my puppy that I love her and that I can’t wait until the day I can see her again. But you know what? The harder things in life are the things that define you and make you who you are. It’s how you deal with the struggles and the burdens that you carry with you each and every day. Each and every single one of us are fighting a hard battle. But it’s all how you look at it that makes it worth something. Fighting all of the hard things and random curve balls that life can throw your way, is what makes life worth living. They also make great stories and life lessons for later.

The girl that I have been jealous of for the past month, she really is astonishingly beautiful on the outside, but on the inside, I’ve come to the conclusion that she has no generosity or character in her body whatsoever. It’s a great thing to be beautiful on the outside and have every guy swooning over you, it must be nice. But in my opinion, I would rather have the character and generosity that she is lacking. Now, that’s something to be proud of because not every woman is like that in this generation. The next time you get jealous of someone and wish that you could have it as easy as them. Try and think about the hardships they are dealing with, just like you. No one has that perfect life (well, maybe Beyonce.) I've learned over the years to let others be inspired by your imperfections.
               The harder things in life come at a time when typically everything in life is going perfect. It just takes one look at a girl on Instagram or one phone call at 8:30AM to make your like confusing all over again. Can I just say how nice it is being twenty years old and living life and being able to love with all my heart, to have the opportunity to be jealous, work for a living, and get a college education? Life can deal us some not-so-great cards in life, but it just makes the harder ones easier to get through because you know the better cards are coming along. So remember, the harder things, they are just temporary. Because when the going gets tough, the tough just keep going.