Pathways.

            The last time I had a sit down big-sister talk was back in December, and she said to me, “Life is hard, life is really really hard, but it is such a beautiful thing that teaches you so many lessons.” My sister has always been the one to leave me with some of the best advice I have ever received. It’s really true, she has taught me that no matter what life hands you, it’s all-apart of a bigger picture that we are creating every day. This is something that I have thought about an awful lot during the past few months. The words have stayed with me because the path that I have been on will no doubt lead me to many more challenges that I need to conquer myself.

            I’m not just talking about my recent battles and losing my dog and my life ambitions. The hard stuff, yeah, but I am talking about something much bigger and the challenges that come with living in a way that I can serve as a role model to others. To me, that is extremely important and all I want to do. Yet, at my age and the places that I have been and the people that I know, I know how hard it is to get caught up in a different lifestyle than what I originally wanted to live. This past year was a learning experience for me, and I realized how off track I got. I lost sight of the bigger picture and what I ultimately wanted to accomplish for myself, and for others. I’ve been praying a lot lately, and I know that God is leading me back on this path that I was heading full speed for. But you know what, I think that was all God’s plan in the first place. Sometimes you need to get off track and lose yourself for a little while so that you can find yourself. And if you end up going back to the same dream, then you know you’re destined for that.
            A lot of the time I look at other people and I find myself so jealous because their lives seem so much easier and less complicated. Jealousy is a really dangerous thing. It is something that can control our minds so easily and it’s something that I think a lot of us will never get past. For me personally, I know I am constantly comparing myself to the girl with the beautiful body or my old Student Council roommate who is a dancer, even my best friends. We all do it, whether we admit it now or later. I’m not saying any path that we choose will be easy, I’m just saying that it will be worth it. The bad things that we encounter everyday are what make the better times so much more worth it. And in the end, you get the ultimate reward. A beautiful life that you create all on your own. Whether you fill that life with lies and troubles or with joy, love, and friendship. It’s your life and your pathway.